Deciding To Walk Away

     Walking away from a relationship is not easy, especially when you are in love.  I don't know any man who gets into a relationship with a woman he wants to start a life with only to get out of the relationship.  If you are anything like me, you don't take relationships lightly and when you are in, you're in.  Relationships can be a safe space for men and a man looks at the woman to keep his heart safe.  Over time, men grow a strong emotional attachment to a woman because he invests his time and energy and money into her.  The more we invest, usually the more we get attached, especially when we work hard for our money and have very little spare time to spend.  Lets be honesty, Men usually invest in women more than men invest in women, in my opinion.

     When men fall in love, we love hard.  I believe we love harder than women and when we are looking at a potential breakup, it can rock our world.  Walking away from an investment that did not give us the return we expected, is hard.  Expectations are the root of all disappointments.  A failed relationship is a huge disappointment for men because many men want to build a legacy.  Walking away from the woman you love and the relationship you want can be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but it can be done.  

     The mistake that I see many men make is in the beginning of the relationship and that is giving up their goals dreams and aspirations for a relationship and this is a bad move.  Don't feel bad if that is you because many of us have done this.  I have done this.  Many, many men have done this in the past and more will do it in the future.  Men look for love.  Men fall in love.  Based on my knowledge and statistics I see, men fall in love faster than women and like I said before, men love harder than women.  Walking away can be devastating for a man who is deeply in love.

      When a man FALLS in love with a woman, he becomes weak because he becomes vulnerable with her.  Vulnerability is a form of weakness because vulnerability opens you up to being susceptible to emotional attacks.  I am not saying falling in love is weak, but I do believe love itself requires a bit of weakness and vulnerability and if it is not regulated, you can give away all your strength without even realizing it.  

     When a man gets to a point in a relationship that he is considering walking away, he has more than likely taken all of the hurt, pain and disrespect that he can take which is usually way more than he should have taken.  Men put up with way more than we should when dealing with women and believe it or not this makes it even harder to walk away.  When we look at the amount of foolishness we choose to put up with and the relationship still does not work out, it makes it even worse.  We put up with the foolishness in the hopes that it will turn the relationship around and when it doesn't, it adds insult to injury.  Now you have invested even more than just time, energy and money because you have put up with her disrespect so your mental and emotional well being has suffered.  

     Walking away can be the most painful but also the most powerful thing a man can do.  When you finally have the strength to walk away from a woman or a relationship, you are not just walking away from THAT but you are actually walking back towards yourself.  Walking away is NEVER easy when you are in love and many men struggle with walking away because like I stated before, men love hard.  Men invest in the women they love and many men never expect to have to leave it all in the past.  To be honest, many men would rather sit in misery with the woman they love than to face the pain of walking away and facing the pain of a breakup.  Many men suffer in silence when facing a breakup because they believe they do not have a support system which MIGHT be true, for some men.

     Men who do have the strength to walk away will suffer in the beginning because detaching yourself from an emotional attachment is hard.  In my experience, an emotional attachment is stronger than love itself and the attachment is what is hard to break.  Sometimes, I believe that men stay with women that they are not in love with because they are emotionally attached but they don't know the difference.  I will get more into emotional attachments in another article.  Walking away can potentially break a man down to his lowest compound.  

     When a man finally decides to walk away from the woman he is emotionally attached to, he has had enough.  He feels hope is gone.  He is empty and usually broken.  He is lost.  This decision has been weighing on him for a long time and and the worse is yet to come.  In the beginning, it might feel like a heavy weigh has been lifted off of his shoulders and he feels good or maybe he feels a bit of remorse because he feels like he is walking away from his responsibility.  Maybe he feels scared because he hasn't been out on his own for a while or maybe he believes he will not find anyone else and will be lonely for the rest of his life.  It will vary for everyone depending on many factors however the decision has been made which is the first step.

     Walking away is probably the scariest thing a man will have to do but if you are in a bad relationship, it will be worth it.  I always tell men to try their best to get their relationship back on track however if the relationship can't be salvaged, leave.  Walking away is the best thing to do.  No fussing, no fighting, no arguing, just leave.  Men need peace.  Trust me, the peace you get when you leave might just be the calm before the storm but the storm will be worth it.  It will be an internal storm because you will have to detox from the person you were addicted to but in the end, it will all be worth it.  A man's peace is his everything.

If you are in a bad relationship and you are deciding whether or not to walk away or you are struggling with actually walking away, it's time to talk.